Jealousy, Mirroring and Discovering Your Desire
Jealousy is generally seen in our society as a negative, wrong emotion. Or it is laughed at, like: you’re just jealous!
Jealousy. It is an emotion we often prefer to avoid, an uncomfortable feeling that gnaws deep inside. Perhaps you feel it when someone leads a life you wish for yourself, when a colleague gets a promotion you wish you had, or when a friend effortlessly achieves something you have to work very hard for. But what if jealousy is not only a troublesome emotion, but also a signpost to your deepest desires?
Jealousy. It is an emotion we often prefer to avoid, an uncomfortable feeling that gnaws deep inside.
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If jealousy is a signal, then it is up to you to start the conversation with that feeling.
Jealousy as a Mirror
The emotion of jealousy comes up regularly with my clients. The question can be; who or what are you jealous of? Or the client comes up with a story in which jealousy lurks. Jealousy often says more about you than about the other person. It is a mirror that reflects what you yourself may be missing in your life. If you feel jealousy, ask yourself the question: What do I see in this person that I want to incorporate into my own life as well?
Perhaps you admire someone’s self-confidence, freedom, creativity, or success. Jealousy can help you discover what really matters to you, what inspires you, and what your desires are.
The Conversation with Your Desire
If jealousy is a signal, then it’s up to you to start the conversation with that feeling. Desires that stem from jealousy can tell you a lot about where you really want to go in your life.
- What does this feeling evoke in me?
- Why do I long for this?
- What steps can I take to realize this desire?
By answering these questions, jealousy becomes an inner guide rather than an enemy.
The Power of Mirroring
We unconsciously mirror ourselves to others. The behavior, successes and lifestyles of others hold up a mirror to us. What you admire in another can often be a reflection of something you yourself possess or potentially possess within you. Jealousy points you to areas in your life that you may need to pay more attention to, such as personal growth, relationships or career goals.
Jealousy as Fuel
Instead of suppressing jealousy or criticizing yourself for feeling it, embrace it as a powerful motivator. Use it as fuel to take action. Set achievable goals and take small steps toward what you desire.
Living Your Desire
The key is to transform jealousy into compassion – for yourself as well as for others. Celebrate the successes of others and be inspired by what they have achieved. At the same time, allow yourself the space to grow. Know that your path is unique. Maybe someone else has something you admire, but you undoubtedly have qualities and experiences that inspire others.
Jealousy: A New Perspective
When you see jealousy as a friend rather than an enemy, it changes. It becomes a source of wisdom and an invitation to get in touch with your own deepest desires. So the next time you experience that nagging feeling, stand still for a moment, breathe deeply, and ask yourself, What is this feeling trying to tell me? What you will discover may open the way to a life that truly resonates with who you are. The emotion of jealousy does not make you happy, not happy, but when you see the potential of what is hidden in your jealousy, it can make you very happy!
What evokes jealousy in you? Share your thoughts as your journey inspires others to discover their desires as well.
