The 4 main emotions: Anger
Anger: A powerful emotion with a positive side
In this four-part blog, I discuss the 4 main emotions Happy, Afraid, Angry and Sad. In this first blog on emotions, I want to take a closer look at the emotion anger. An exciting emotion! Anger is one of the most intense and common emotions we can experience as human beings. It can feel like a storm building up inside us, ready to erupt. A volcano of sorts. Often anger is associated with negative behaviors, such as yelling, arguing or even aggression. And it certainly can be, especially when you have bottled up your emotions for years from childhood. But what if we see anger not only as a problem, but also as a valuable emotion with a positive side?
Anger can come out uncontrollably like a volcano.

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Anger can serve as an engine for change and growth.
What is anger anyway?
Anger is an emotional response to situations in which we experience injustice, frustration or threat. It is a natural reaction that helps us set boundaries and stand up for ourselves. Although anger can be overwhelming at times, it is important to understand that this emotion is trying to tell us something, like any emotion. It can make us aware of what is important to us and what we want to protect.
The negative perception of anger
Anger is often seen as an unwanted emotion that we should suppress. This is due to the way our society interprets anger. We are taught from a young age that being angry is “bad” and that we should remain calm and rational, regardless of the situation. I, too, grew up that way. As a “fiery” child, I could not control my anger or rather my own will. At home, this emotion was not appreciated at all and I was considered “catty” or bombarded as a “bitch.” It was clear that I had to suppress this emotion since I was not taught how to deal with it. Suppressing anger can lead to stress, physical symptoms and even relationship problems.
The positive side of anger
However, anger also has an important positive function. It can serve as an engine for change and growth. Here are some ways anger can play a positive role for you:
- Anger helps set boundaries: When you feel angry, it indicates that someone has crossed your personal boundaries. This emotion can encourage you to clearly state your boundaries and stand up for yourself.
- Anger promotes justice: Many social changes and improvements in history have begun with collective anger over injustice. Think of civil rights movements and social protests.
- Anger energizes: This emotion can be a powerful source of energy that motivates you to take action, tackle a problem or achieve a goal.
- Anger promotes self-reflection: When you are angry, it can be an opportunity to reflect on what really matters to you. What triggers this emotion? What can you do about it? This process can lead to greater self-awareness.
How to use anger constructively?
Although anger has positive sides, it is important to deal with it in a way that is constructive and respectful. Anger has enormous power and energy and if you use it to the right effect, then the energy of the anger you experience deep inside can be very helpful to still indicate your boundary or continue for a good cause (whatever that may be for you). All this for the good of yourself and your environment instead of exploding, becoming aggressive etc. Because in this way you get out of touch with the other person and actually with yourself. These forms of anger, when you thus go over the top, is very clearly a signal that you may examine this emotion in yourself, even if you feel that the blame lies outside yourself.
Here are some tips:
- Take a break: Give yourself time to calm down before reacting. This prevents impulsive actions that you may later regret.
- Communicate clearly: Explain why you are angry without attacking the other person. Use “I messages,” such as: “I feel angry because …”
- Find the cause: Try to understand what is causing your anger. Is it an external situation, or are there underlying emotions such as sadness or fear?
- Use anger as motivation: Turn the energy of your anger into positive action. This can range from engaging in a difficult conversation to taking steps to solve a problem.
In conclusion:
Anger is not something to be feared or suppressed. It is a powerful emotion that, if properly understood and managed, can lead to personal growth, better relationships and social change. By embracing anger and using it constructively, we can transform this emotion from a burden to a strength. So the next time you are angry, ask yourself: what is my anger trying to tell me and how can I use it in a positive way? Could you use some help: click here to contact me!